If you don't want the bundled terminfo then don't symlink it into $HOME.

Terminfo straight from Debian:
 - screen*
 - xterm (same as xterm-debian)
 - xterm-color
 - xterm-debian
 - xterm-new

My modified terminfos:
 - xterm-itermapp
     based on xterm-debian but with a few fixes for iTerm.app
 - xterm-itermapp-256color
     same as above but with 256 colour support advertised
 - xterm-simple
	 a simpler profile with less advertised features. It's based on
	 xterm-color, which is based on xterm-r6. It has ^? for backspace and ^[[3~
	 for delete


How should you use these?

First, copy the .terminfo directory to every machine you log in to.

If you're running xterm, urxvt, konsole or any other compliant terminal you
should set TERM=xterm and ensure that backspace/delete send ^? and ^[[3~
respectively. TERM must be set in your console preferences, NOT in bashrc, etc

If you're running iTerm.app then set TERM to be xterm-itermapp. Do this by
going to Bookmarks-> Manage Profiles-> Terminal Profiles-> Terminal Type

If you have problems only on a specific machine, older OSes in particular, try
using TERM=xterm-simple on that machine.
Eg, cp ~/.terminfo/x/xterm-simple ~/.terminfo/x/xterm